


Christmas - Traditions and Memories

by von_gelmini



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, with a tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/von_gelmini/pseuds/von_gelmini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Eggsy spend their first real Christmas together. They're each used to dealing with holidays in their own ways. Blending two into one can be difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas - Traditions and Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Self-beta'd and proofed. Trying to walk the fine line when it comes to Brit picking and dialects.It's 1:30 am here, sorry if I missed any errors.

Harry _adores_ Christmas. Albeit in his own, rather restrained, way. If he was in town and not on a mission, December first found him calling in 'sick' for a few days. Everyone knew it was just an excuse, but not even the old Arthur resented Kingsman's top agent taking the time off.

He had fond memories of winter breaks spent at home with his mother and father and two older sisters. The tree in the entry hall reached to the second floor ceiling, the angel atop just barely managing not to scrape it. Needless to say there were presents. But there were also many visits during advent to various children's wards and community centers with gifts for those less fortunate. The true meaning of the season was never forgotten. 

As an adult, Harry kept as many of these traditions as he could. Checks were written to over a dozen worthy causes - donations always anonymous of course. For his coworkers there were overflowing hampers sent from Fortnum's. For the few people he actually called friend there were carefully chosen items wrapped in tastefully festive papers.

Even though there was no one to enjoy it but himself, Harry always put a tree in the parlor and a wreath on the door. Some years everything was white and silver, other years were red green and gold. One of his favorite years was when he did it all up in brilliant purples and turquoises and greens, leaving his front room looking not unlike a peacock's tail. But he felt far too self-conscious about the boldness (and the ideas that any neighbors would get) so the following year it was back to the silver and white. Whatever the color scheme, when it was all done and he settled into his overstuffed arm chair beside the fire with a cup of mulled wine, it never failed to bring a smile to his face and leave him feeling content. 

Sometimes he felt a twinge of loneliness creeping around the edges of his good cheer. The year that his oldest sister, her husband, and his niece were killed in a car accident was the worst. He nearly gave up his tradition, but found that carrying on helped him cope. That year he didn't write an anonymous check. He bought every little toy and gewgaw he ever remembered his niece saying she wanted, then took them to the Children's Hospital and stood back watching as their Father Christmas made the youngsters happy. 

His middle sister had moved to New York for her career as a fashion designer. He saw her from time to time if she had a show in Paris or was meeting with distributors in London. Unfortunately that was rarely anytime near the holidays. They were fond of each other and often commiserated at the pressure they got to 'settle down and have children', for she was as committed to single life as he was. 

He was always welcome back home, but it had been many years since he'd taken his parents up on the invitation. But that was his choice to distance himself. He had been in his last year at Oxford, young and reckless and determined to fly in the face of convention. To their credit, his parents handled young Harry's insistence of bringing his _boy_ friend home well, which only served to anger him more as he'd been hoping to make a 'statement'. New Years found him dumping the poor lad, his purpose spent. By the time he'd matured enough to get over himself, he was a Kingsman and it just wasn't safe to keep ties too close.

This year was different. Technically it was his and Eggsy's second Christmas as a couple, but the first was spent tracking down a terrorist threat in Central Europe. It was hard to feel festive when bound to a chair as a distraction, waiting for Eggsy to grab the intel before breaking free. When they got home, there was a week's recovery because Eggsy thought he was really in danger and had gotten himself stabbed rescuing him. So that Christmas was a wash. But being Arthur did have its perks. Baring some last minute crisis, he'd set it up so that most of the Table had light duty for the holidays this year. 

Which is why he knew that Eggsy was lying when he said he was working late and couldn't accompany Harry to the tree lot. He was disappointed, but phoned Michelle and took her and Daisy instead, buying two trees, one for him and Eggsy and one for them. When they got home, Harry made a quick run up to the attic, returning with his peacock decorations as well as two boxes of traditional red and green, giving them to the Unwins. On Michelle and Daisy's way out, he reverse pickpocketed (mentally thanking Eggsy for the lessons) three hundred-pound notes into Michelle's handbag.

The next morning Eggsy was off right after breakfast, a sparring session with Roxy his excuse. Harry gave him a kiss and let him go, knowing that Roxy would most likely be with her uncle, packing for their trip to Bermuda. The full leave request for Lancelot and Perceval had come across his desk weeks ago. He approved it of course. Alastair still felt James' loss keenly this time of year and Roxy did her best to distract him.

Harry tried not to be upset, but Eggsy could hardly have missed the big _empty_ tree in the front room. December second was always decorating day. He'd been looking forward to having someone to share it with. Stringing popcorn and cranberry garland, deciding on the year's theme, untangling and testing the lights - which inevitably led to a hurried trip to Boots to replace those that steadfastly refused to light no matter how hard Harry jiggled the wires. (We do not speak of the year Harry brought the entire tangled mess to Merlin, demanding his friend do _something_ with them. "It's the 21st century and they can't make fairy lights that work from one year to the next?" One lecture about planned obsolescence and a threat to replace all the bulbs with high explosives later, found Harry once again at the store filling his cart.)

Still, it was only the second. He usually shopped on the third and fourth, but that was easily switched around. One had to make adjustments when one wasn't single anymore. Bundling in his overcoat and scarf, Harry made his way to the end of the mews and hailed a cab to take him to Fortnum's then on to Oxford Street. Yes, it was crowded and noisy and utterly _plebeian_. When people he knew mentioned it, he tsk'd along with them. But once every season, despite swearing not to, he found himself wandering over in the late afternoon, waiting for the lights to come on, jostling along with the other shoppers, wandering in and out of the shops.

It was easy to get caught up in the moment, forgetting that this year was different, until he would notice something in a window that reminded him of Eggsy. Or when he nearly leaned over to point out a little girl staring wide-eyed at an animated window, intending to tell him that they should bring Daisy tomorrow. Only Eggsy wasn't there. He shook off the beginnings of a good sulk when he realized that the boy was probably waiting for him at home, poking through the boxes he'd brought down that morning. Harry called for the Kingsman cab to come take him home.

It wasn't that late, but Eggsy was already upstairs, settled in bed, reading on his tablet. The decorations were still in their taped up boxes, tree still woefully naked. Without bothering to turn on the downstairs lights, Harry went to join him.

There was nothing different about that night than any other. Less talking about the day they'd had, but they found subjects other than that to pass the time. Not that much needed to be passed. It wasn't long before snuggling turned into kissing turned into more. If there was a way to resist an amorously inclined Eggsy, Harry had yet to find it. Though to be honest, he hadn't looked very hard. It was only as he nestled his spent and tired lover into his arms, waiting for him to fall asleep, that he wondered what Eggsy's excuse would be come morning. It was hard to shake the sense that the boy was avoiding him, no matter how satisfying the sex had been.

As he'd expected, come morning Eggsy said he had a mountain of unfinished mission briefs, expense chits, and equipment damage reports he had to do and that Merlin was waiting on those last ones. That at least, Harry knew was true. Merlin rarely took more than the day itself off for the winter break. He had nothing against the holiday spirit, it was just that he had nothing for it either. He would join Harry (and Eggsy?) for Christmas dinner and enjoy himself quite thoroughly, but the big fuss everyone seemed to want to make left him cold. 

With a kiss, Harry let Eggsy go. He had only a few things left on his shopping list, the biggest of which would be Eggsy's present - once he figured out what that was going to be. He had time still on that one. With that mostly done, wasting the day as he did yesterday wasn't really an option. With a sigh, Harry decided that red and gold would be this year's colors and opened the appropriate boxes. For the first year since he had a house of his own, his heart just wasn't in it. He started to decorate the tree anyway, only to discover that five of the blasted light strands were dead. (He was Arthur goddammit. He'd give Merlin one year, but this was the last freezing run to Boots he was going to make. Ever.) Climbing back into the attic to put away the empty boxes, he smiled when he saw a small, old, battered box pushed up under the attic eaves. Grabbing it, he decided to make a stop along the way to the store.

At Michelle's, Harry knelt down to Daisy's level, showing her what was in the box. "This was mine when I was little," he said, carefully taking out the angel with the spun yellow hair. "I thought you might like to have her for your tree."

He pooh-poohed away Michelle's objections that she couldn't possibly take such an important family heirloom, not taking no for an answer. Finally she took down the tinsel star and Harry held Daisy on his shoulders, helping her put the figurine on the top branch. Daisy was thrilled to have 'Tinkerbell' living on her tree. Neither Harry nor Michelle had the heart to correct her. Daisy ran off to her bedroom only to bring back a double handful of tiny plastic fairy dolls which she began fitting around on every branch she could reach. 

"Nice to see her having a home again," Harry said, nodding toward the tree. "She never fit my decor, but I couldn't bring myself to bin her either." His mission was complete and knowing he had nothing to look forward to other than the lights run and then decorating alone, it was hard for him to keep up his mask of good cheer. 

The fall of his expression wasn't unnoticed by Michelle. She invited Harry for a cuppa and he followed her into the spacious kitchen. "Wot's th' matter, luv? An' don' tell me nuthin'. I get enough of tha' from Eggsy. I never believed him none either. So out wif it."

Harry sighed. "It's noth…" Michelle glared and Harry laughed. "All right. It is something but it's silly. It's just…" he gave another sigh. "I thought this year would be different."

"How so?"

"I'm fine doing it on my own. Its been that way for years and it never bothered me. Whenever I was home for it, I'd spend these first few days getting my shopping done and decorating. Even though it was just for me, it was something I enjoyed. And I thought…"

"Yeh thought Eggsy'd be right there wif yeh doin' up th' tree an' all that."

He smiled wanly. "Well, yes. Silly of me, I know. I never asked him, I just assumed…"

"D'yeh remember th' day we met?"

"Hard to forget."

"D'yeh remember my flat tha' day?"

"Fuck."

"Uh huh. Tha' was th' last tree we ever put up. We jus' kinda…," she shrugged, "fell outta th' habit. It was my fault I guess. After Lee, I couldn't. I shoulda for Eggsy's sake, I know. But I couldn't."

Harry shook his head. "No. Totally understandable. Not uncommon for a family who loses a loved one at this time of year not to celebrate. I should've realized."

"But now, now tha' we're here, startin' a new life, me an' Dais… Well I thank yeh for bringin' us t' get th' tree an' all." Michelle looked over at Daisy, her little face sparkling with glitter from the ornaments and lit in bright colors from the lights. "She can have a bit of a real childhood, y'know? I jus' wish I coulda done for him before he got too old t' care."

"It's all right. I feel foolish for not having realized. But I'm sure it's not going to be the last time I feel that way. I'm sorry to have troubled you over this, but thank you for letting me know."

"You're no trouble, luv. We might've got'n off t' a rocky start, but doesn't matter. Eggsy's arse over tits for yeh and yeh treat my boy good. Yeh done right by me an' Daisy too when yeh didn't half t'. I guess I can put up with yeh. Just about," she said grinning.

Harry chuckled. "I'm honored." He played it as a joke in the same vein as hers, but it was true. He could've done better for Lee's family. Should've. It was only his pride and his guilt that kept him from ever checking to see if things were all right.

There was a crash of shattering glass. "Ah. That would be my cue. Perhaps later this week we could get together and take Daisy to see the Santa windows?"

Michelle was up and with the dustpan, but first wiping Daisy's tears over the broken pretty thing. "Tha'd be nice. Ta. Hush Daisy darlin'. Yeh wanna go see if we can find a pret'y red bauble at th' shop?"

Harry left them to their plans. On the way back to his house, he called Merlin. "Is Eggsy there? Don't say it's me if he's right there with you." 

"He's here, but in his office. Do you want me to send him home? He's just killing time." Merlin paused. "Everything's all right with you two?"

"Will be. Can you keep him there another hour? Then send him home if he seems amenable."

"No problem."

Inside, Harry stared at the poor tree with scarcely half a box of ornaments and two strings of lights on it. He made quick work of returning them, and the other bits of decoration spread about the house, to their boxes and stowing them back in the attic. The tree, well there was nothing to be done about it today so he brought it to the back garden and propped it against the fence. Tomorrow, he'd make some calls to see if there wasn't some place that could use it and the decorations.

It would take some time to get used to his new routine, but Eggsy was worth it. He could negotiate the holidays much like Merlin, with only the dinner for friends and family. Only not with the Scot's Presbyterian work ethic. Long lazy days (and nights) with the man he loved (and had nearly lost) were really all he needed.

He'd finished vacuuming up the tree's fallen needles and settled into the sofa watching TV when Eggsy returned.

"Wot th…" Eggsy gaped at the little table that lived eleven months of the year where the tree had stood. "Where's the tree?"

"Can you sit a moment. I want to talk to you."

Eggsy hung his coat and scarf. "What'd I tell you about startin' a conversation like that. It never means anything good." He sat on the other end of the sofa. 

"It's nothing bad. And I don't know what else to say when what I want is for us to talk."

"Jus' anything but that!"

Harry smiled. "All right. What I wanted to say, Eggsy, is that I owe you an apology."

"No you don't. Unless you did something. You didn't do something didja Harry?"

"Well, I did a lot of things. But they all boil down to my forgetting that I don't live alone. That there's another person's happiness I need to take into account when I plan things. It's just habit when you've lived alone as long as I have. Not that I mean anything by it."

"That's all good Harry, but what the fuck you talkin' 'bout, mate? You been absolute aces about me livin' with you. I got stuff all over your nice clean house," he said with a grin. "I even invite m'boys around and we get right pissed on your good wine an' you ain't never said a word. I got no complaints with you, Harry. Whatever you think you've done, I'm tellin' you, we're good."

Harry would never say how much his patience was tried when he saw Ryan, Jamal, and Eggsy passed out in the middle of the floor, Jamal pantsless and Eggsy lying near the waste paper basket having _almost_ made it. But seeing ten empty 1978 Chateau Latour bottles strewn around the parlor just about broke it. But then Eggsy looked up and smiled drunkenly at him and suddenly twenty thousand pounds seemed all worth it. And no, he would never tell Eggsy just what his net worth was. He was quite embarrassed by it.

He shook away his intrusive thoughts. "All this," Harry said, waving his hand to where the tree had been. "I never considered how the holidays might not be the most pleasant time for you. Your father's death, and then from what you've told me, the years with Dean. And I've been carrying on thoughtlessly." He reached across the sofa and took Eggsy's hands in his. "Darling, as the song says, all I want for Christmas is you. As long as I have that, I don't need all that other stuff."

Eggsy's face fell. "I'm sorry Harry. I've been a prick. I don't want to be your Grinch."

"Your heart could never remotely be considered two sizes too small."

Eggsy looked at Harry with a puzzled expression. "How'd you know 'bout that?"

"I've never told you about my family."

"I just kinda figured they was either not in your life anymore or dead."

"I used to read "the Grinch to my niece every year. Her mother, my oldest sister, read her Madeline, and her father did the Night Before Christmas. I'm afraid I rather spoilt her, but she was easy to spoil, like Daisy."

"Can I meet them?"

Harry took a deep breath. "A drunk driver hit their car November 23th 1985. Mary, my sister was killed instantly. Richard died later that night. They revived Rachel, but she never woke up. She passed on the 29th."

"Close to Christmas," Eggsy said quietly.

"Uh huh. It was… difficult. But I found that all the preparations helped me remember them. They loved the holidays."

"So'd my dad." Eggsy fidgeted with the corner of the sofa throw. "I don't remember much. But he'd come home on leave and he'd always bring me a snow globe from wherever he'd been stationed that year. Not that they had anything to do with the place, just that they came from there. And he'd cook. He was a great cook. He'd chase mum outta the kitchen and put me on the counter, giving me some rot about how the best chefs were men and not to let anybody tell me cooking was just for girls. He'd let me help. Nothin' much, mind. But I remember that."

Harry slid closer, touching Eggsy reassuringly, but not interrupting.

"I never told anybody. Mum didn't like to talk about him much. Just that he was a hero and that didn't mean anything really. Just that some toffs got to use him up in their war. No offense."

"None taken," Harry said.

"It was hard on mum. They were really in love." Eggsy smiled, lost in remembering. "He'd put the radio on. All the cheesiest Christmas songs, y'know? And they'd dance around the living room and always end up under the mistletoe." His voice shook and his eyes were glistening. "After that, I mean, how could she do Christmas anymore. It'd be like if you hadn't come back." Eggsy held Harry's arm tight. "While you were gone, I had no idea what days passed, holiday or no. So it's not like she was trying to keep me from Christmas. It's just every year, I'd see her hurting. Until the hurting got too bad for her and, well, you know what happened then."

Harry nodded. "You both did the best you could. It's okay."

"No it's not, Harry."

It was Harry's turn to look puzzled.

"Because I want this. I want all of this. The tree and the lights and the presents. Even those stupid elves you put on the mantle. I want Christmas to be _us_. Only… I don't know how. I think about it and I get scared. Because Christmas is when people go away for good." Eggsy blinked, tears threatening to spill. "And I can't lose you Harry. I can't stand it if you go away. I'd be like me mum. All hollow inside."

Harry wrapped his arms around Eggsy, pulling him close, nestling him under his chin. He rubbed soft circles over his back, feeling his boy's chest shake with silent tears. His own were a bit less than silent, but Eggsy held him tightly around his waist.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again. Nothing more dangerous than going nine rounds with the Board of Directors. I'll always be here waiting when you come home, darling. It's okay to let that go."

Eggsy sniffled and looked up at Harry. "Will you show me? I'm not gonna guarantee that I might not kinda run…"

"How about if you run, I'll go find you and bring you back?"

Eggsy nodded.

"We can take it slow. If it takes us until Christmas Eve, if the tree never gets more than half decorated, or if you change your mind and we just have dinner with your mom, Daisy, and Merlin, it doesn't matter."

"What if I decide to run around like mad and do it all at once so's I don't have to think about it?"

Harry laughed. "Even that."

"Can we bring the tree back or do we need to get another one?"

"It's just in the garden." Harry reached down and brushed a drying tear off Eggsy's cheek with his thumb. "Would you like to help me bring it in?"

Eggsy smiled and followed Harry outside. As they struggled with getting it through the door, Eggsy said, "D'you know they've got this stuff they spray on 'em makes it look like snow. Even comes in colors. One year Ryan's mum had theirs done in pink."

Harry shuddered. What had he released on the world? "I think… that's a bit…," he stammered.

Eggsy laughed so hard he nearly dropped his end of the tree. "Oi mate. You're so easy."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at von--gelmini. Stop by and say hi. Careful of the (multi-fandom) mess :)


End file.
